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Laura Kessel is managing editor of The News-Herald in Willoughby. She writes a weekly column and shares her thoughts here.

Monday, November 7, 2011

Very few people to pity in this Kardashian nightmare

When you’re 11 years, seven months and 25 days old, 72 days can seem like forever.
But even at that age you know it’s really not.
Back on Aug. 21, my niece Erin posted a message on her Facebook page celebrating what the media had treated as the “marriage of the century.”
“Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries Forever!!! <333”
The little symbol at the end, in case you don’t know chat lingo, is a heart, with extensions that make it a really big heart.
The exclamation points show that she’s excited. Because there are three, it means she’s really excited.
Lucky for her, her family lost power in the weekend snowstorm that pounded the East Coast, and she missed the announcement early this week that Kardashian filed for divorce.
I’m not sure what the sadness equivalent of <333 is, but I’m sure she would have used it.
She might have been alone, too, because the rest of us were left to chuckle when the tweets first started to arrive indicating that this woman who’s famous for being famous had given up on a marriage that hadn’t even hit the three-month mark.
These crazy kids were married 1,728 hours before deciding they just weren’t alike enough to make a go of it.
Too bad Kardashian didn’t tell Humphries. The poor lug found out like the rest of us, from tabloid website
That’s about the only sympathy I’ll show anyone involved in this mess. So, enjoy it if you feel the need.
I used to be able to say that I don’t watch any reality TV. A recent remote mishap (I couldn’t find it and was too lazy to get up and change the channel by hand) left me sitting in front of a marathon of “Sister Wives” on TLC.
I got hooked. Not by the personalities of these four women who share a husband who desperately needs a haircut; no, it was my desire to determine what he does for a living to support four wives and 16 (now 17!) children.
My reality nightmare got even worse when I awoke from a nap and found myself confronted by the Kardashian family, arguing among themselves about a lack of respect being shown by Kim’s brother to her beau.
I felt kinda dirty having watched that nonsense, frankly. I gave thanks that I’m not a Nielsen family.
Before that moment, I didn’t even realize her family’s show was on E! I just had luckily missed it over the past few years.
I’m pretty glad that I didn’t miss TMZ’s breaking news announcement of the divorce on Twitter, though.
I happily bounded around the newroom, telling anyone who wasn’t on the phone or deep in conversation about the news.
The reaction wasn’t surprising. In fact, no one was surprised. Well, actually that’s not true … some were surprised to learn she hadn’t already announced her plans to divorce before she reached 72 days of wedded bliss.
I know I shouldn’t be feeling so much glee as this story unfolds. In fact, I know I should be feeling outrage — not for myself, but for the countless people, like my niece, who were duped into thinking this was a real situation, with people really committing to marriage and really planning to share their lives.
No matter what Kardashian says, I don’t believe that she went into this with the intention to stay married or live happily ever after.
She’s a reality television doll who sucks people into her family trainwreck with the promise of what Americans seem to crave from their television viewing these days — fighting, discord and disposable connections.
I’m only sorry that my niece fell for her schtick.
Move along, Kim. You’ve overstayed your welcome.
Twitter: @Lauranh


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