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Laura Kessel is managing editor of The News-Herald in Willoughby. She writes a weekly column and shares her thoughts here.

Wednesday, January 18, 2012

There's a trick to avoiding inane radio commercials

I really should listen to satellite radio more.

The setup is perfect for someone like me.

And by that I mean someone with admittedly horrible taste in music.

In addition to his job as a page designer, one of my former co-workers also served as the self-appointed judge of all things musical.

In his charming moments, he’d share a song lyric on Facebook, and tell his friends to guess the song from which it came. He’d go all across the musical spectrum in his choices. Sometimes it took just seconds to identify the song; other times, it took all day.

In less-charming times, Steve would deride the artists and songs that the rest of us either had stuck in our heads or were playing on our iPods and Discmen.

(What is the plural of Discman? I need to ask Jim Collins. But, first, I’ll have to explain what a Discman is. Oh, nevermind.)

Needless to say, because I’m writing about it, it still bothers me that he never seemed to have anything nice to say about the music I tend to like.

But, on another level, I know it’s OK, because, really, neither do I.

A long time ago, I wrote a column praising iTunes as one of the world’s greatest inventions, not because it makes obtaining music so easy, but because it makes it so easy to buy all the music I’m too embarrassed to go into a store and pick up.

I’m sure by now you’re curious what kind of music I mean.

Well, as I sit here typing this sentence, I’m singing along to a little ditty I just got around to adding to my music list this week:

“I say it isn’t so (it isn’t so)

Oh, say it isn’t so (it isn’t so)


Oh-oh, no


(Say it)”


Don’t recognize it? Then you’re not a child of the ’80s, like me. Daryl Hall & John Oates, “Say It Isn’t So.”

Yeah, I’m embarrassed. Luckily for those with different musical tastes, I don’t blast this stuff for anyone else to hear. It’s always pumped into my ears via earphones plugged into my iPod or my cell phone.

A warning, though: Never accept a ride from me. Because you’ll have to listen to Channel 8 on Sirius Satellite Radio.

Don’t know what they play there? It’s ’80s music, baby. All day. All Night. Nothing but ‘80s.

If they play something I don’t like, I hit the 7 button, and travel to the 1970s. If there’s nothing there, I’m on No. 6. You get the idea.

Satellite was a comfort lately when I grew tired of all the Christmas commercials on public radio.

When it got too much, I flipped over and only had to deal with the pitches for other Sirius channels. They’re quick, so they don’t get all that annoying.

The other day, though, while driving through Willoughby in the snow, I wasn’t able to flip over fast enough and caught an advertisement for a diet drug.

According to the commercial, when you take it, you can keep eating all the foods you want and you’ll lose weight. It’s a miracle!

You don’t have to cut out fatty foods, or fast food, or even candy and cookies. And you’ll lose weight.
Upon investigation, I learned it’s a powder you sprinkle on your food. It must be a magic powder!

According to the website: “As you eat smell and taste receptors send messages to your brain which release hormones that tell your body it’s time to stop eating.” Apparently, this drug works to enhance the sense of smell, to enhance this message that it’s time to stop eating.

OK, then. I can smell a problem, and it has nothing to do with the food sitting in front of me.

Here’s hoping that no one will fall for this “trick” to lose weight. But, if you did, please let me know how it worked.

To say I’m curious would be underselling it by a longshot.

Until then, I’m going to hide among my ’80s tunes, where I feel comfortable.

LKessel@News-Herald.com
Twitter: @Lauranh

1 Comments:

Anonymous Radio Commercials said...

Hilarious post Laura! I’m more of a 90s kid, so it’s boy bands and girl bands for me which in some cases, may be worse than your 80s picks, haha

August 7, 2012 at 8:38 PM 

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